My Easter present to myself? Is apparently a totalled car, a trip to the hospital, and a whole lot of bruises.

I was driving to work, and had an accident; hit a tree. I remember I couldn't stop shaking, right after. Luckily the people I waved down stopped for me and called the ambulance.

My left arm's bandaged and I can't put any weight on it, and I'm generally sore - and will probably be even sorer tomorrow when the bruises show up more. And my car is a total write-off.

And you know what I hate? I don't even have any chocolate, and right now I really wish I did. It sounds silly, but it's true.

The thing I made regarding the scene in LotR in which the Witch-King's 'no man can kill me' belief runs headlong into Eowyn's Sword of Loophole:

---

To: Witch-King
From: Council of Vague Prophecies
RE: Your invulnerability

Dear sir,
We regret to inform you that prophecies are non-refundable. You are of course an important customer and we value your patronage. However, fine print on all Vague Prophecies (TM) expressly stipulates that should a loophole be found, all warranties are null and void.
We hope we may be of service to you again, should you resume corporeal existence at any time in the future. Until this eventuality, we are,
Yrs,
The Council of Vague Prophecies.
("Knowing the unknowable... for you!")

So, while following along on Mark Reads Lord of the Rings, the chapter-by-chapter reading by someone who does not know the story yet, I found myself re-experiencing my own love for the novel. And wrote a poem, inspired by the Muster of Rohan and Ride of the Rohirrim chapters.

Here it is.

The Rohirrim Ride Forth

Bold they ride and battle-ready
Swift the horses, stern the Men
Sounds of hooves like thunder rising
Who shall ride homeward again?

Gondor calls in hour of peril
Rohan answers, ever brave
Rohirrim ride, though each man knows
Journey's end may be the grave.

Forth they ride, the Eorlingas
War's horn calls to Rohan's Men
Bravely go they to the battle
Some shall not ride homeward again.

Excerpt from therapy session that could have been:

"Look, trust me when I say this, there are appropriate reactions and inappropriate reactions to members of the opposite sex. Betraying and allowing the destruction of an entire city is an inappropriate reaction. I don't suppose you've heard the phrase 'plenty of fish in the sea?'"
"You're insinuating I have a fish fetish? Why should I listen to anything you say?"
"Mr Maeglin, all the phrase means is that it is possible to find attractive women who are not your cousin."

...That is all. For now, at least.

Ever wondered what a song like this might sound like if given to a drow? Or a PPC Agent?
...Thought not.

Presenting Mazarun's take on the Katy Perry song 'I Kissed A Girl', because I somehow failed to be distracted long enough to avoid writing this.

Contains violence and potential disturbing weirdness.

( Filk under cut )

This is a prequel interlude to certain of my missions, detailing how, exactly, Mazarun came to join the PPC.

Disclaimer: The PPC originates with Jay and Acacia, Osbert’s Raiders as a PPC group are the creation of KGarrett, and Forgotten Realms drow and other D&D content belong to TSR, Inc. and Wizards of the Coast. All drow characters mentioned herein, however, are mine.
Content: Backstory ahoy! Violence and disturbing content are included.

( PPC Interlude: Blood Under Starlight )

Disclaimer: The PPC originates with Jay and Acacia, Harry Potter exists to do missions for courtesy of J.K. Rowling, and Forgotten Realms drow and other D&D content belong to TSR, Inc. and Wizards of the Coast. The fic in question, Defenses, belongs to SeaSparrow, who can keep it and its dreadful Sue, because I don’t especially want either.
Thanks to cassie5squared for betaing.
Content: Pretty standard PPC content; facepalm-worthy fic, some violence, a bit of bad language.

( Mission: An Auror Annihilated )

At long last, a new mission - which technically is an old mission in terms of the timeline, but what can you do? Suffice to say this Agent pair have been around a while, even if I'm only just now beginning to demonstrate it.

Disclaimer: The PPC originates with Jay and Acacia, Harry Potter exists to do missions for courtesy of J.K. Rowling, and Forgotten Realms drow and other D&D content belong to TSR, Inc. and Wizards of the Coast. The fic in question, Silver and Amethyst, belongs to MoniqueElle, who can keep it.
Thanks to cassie5squared for betaing.
Content: Pretty standard PPC content; facepalm-worthy fic, some violence, a bit of bad language.

( Mission: Assassinating Amethyst )

Title: A Drow Child's Book of Fairy Stories
Setting: Forgotten Realms
Genre: Humour
Summary: Witness classic fairy tales converted into counterparts one might possibly encounter in Menzoberranzan. Marvel at the drow idea of a 'happy ending.' Mind the jade spiders if you pinched this off a drow kiddie to read!
Disclaimer: The Forgotten Realms setting, Drow and other mentioned races, species, spells and objects originated with TSR, Inc. and Wizards of the Coast. The fairy stories used, on the other hand, are public domain.

Part One: (Chapters One-Three) [Here]
Part Two: (Chapters Four-Six) [Here]
Part Three: (Chapters Seven-Ten) [Here]
Part Four: (Chapters Eleven-Thirteen) [Here]
Part Five: (Chapter Fourteen - Holiday Special) [You Are Here]

( Chapter Fourteen: A Drow Llothmas Special )